There’s Sting, Looking For His Last Name In The Dip

Aaaaand we’re back. I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays. I could have made good use of another six to eight weeks of them, but that’s not how the cookie crumbled.
The DPCS and I have a game we like to play at Liquidation World. We call it “What Most Belongs Here?” We each search the store, while shopping, for the item that we think most obviously shows how it ended up in a liquidation outlet. Past winners have included Thirsty Dog (pop for dogs) and a picture frame that read “Mom, you’ve guided my life” along the top and “and I treasure them” along the bottom.
Here’s the winning object (http://www.gayleenfroese.com/lw.jpg) from our Boxing Day visit to the Saskatoon store. Simply malvelous.
I find this sort of thing interesting because I’m surprised anyone cares if a word on a pot is misspelled. I suspect it’s more upsetting to a potentially buyer as a red flag about quality control than as an unsightly error. I don’t think most people care about spelling, do they? They certainly don’t care about punctuation.
Oh, which reminds me. I may have to kill someone over this (http://www.gayleenfroese.com/lana.jpg). The only thing stopping me is that I don’t know for certain whether to blame the agency or the client. I know, you’re probably thinking that murder is unwarranted in this situation, but you don’t understand. There are a few of these things in my neighbourhood and I have to look at them. It’s not right. Justice must be done.
Please don’t tell me, by the way, that they’re making a pun of wears (as in, the woman in this photo wears Lana Lee) and where’s (as in, where can I get some of those overpriced rejects from the Jaclyn Smith K-Mart collection?). I understand that. What I’m saying is, what’s with the apostrophe? I have my suspicions about that fucker. Here’s how I picture the client meeting at which the billboard concept was unveiled:
Creative Director: So the billboard says “Wears Lana Lee.” Three words. Clean. Direct. Readable. Labeling the attractive yet identifiable model as someone who wears Lana Lee…
Account Exec:.. while opening the all-important question, where can I buy Lana Lee clothing so that I will look like the model?
Creative Director: Then leaving the question unanswered, to create mystery.
Account Exec: And to give your clothing the air of unattainability.
Client: It’s just what I wanted, only with 28 fewer words than I asked for… except, won’t people be confused?
Creative Director: Excuse me?
Client: Well, you won’t be there to explain it to people, so they won’t know that wears also means where’s. I think there should be an apostrophe.
Creative Director: ….
Account Exec: In wears, you mean? Between the r and the s?
Client: Right. Put an apostrophe there.
Account Exec: Wonderful! That takes it to a new level! *elbow nudge* Would you be interested in coming to work for us?
Creative Director: *sticks pen in eye, is taken to hospital*
Account Exec: Ewww…. that’s the fifth creative director to do that this year. It’s a shame, because we need someone to tell the graphic designer to make that change for you.
Client: I could make the change myself, in Paint.
Account Exec: Tremendous! You’re sure you don’t want to work for us, now? HA HA!
Fortunately, in this scenario, the client is eliminated later that day when he tries to open a billboard-sized art file in Paint and his computer decides instead to grow arms and beat him to death with the keyboard.
Getting back to Liquidation World and misspelled objects, it does seems that people are put off by screwed up words–when those words are in English. When they’re in other languages, they could be misspelled, blue, or part of an incantation that will cause the dead to walk among the living, and we don’t care. I gave my mom a shirt this Christmas that had words on it and the best we could do was identify the language as probably Italian(which differs from the definitely Italian dialect in its number of irregular verbs.)
She’s going to wear it, though, and is not concerned about what she may be saying to Italian-speakers, or whether she’s raising the Italian dead.
The Japanese are notorious for liking the look of foreign words and not caring about the meaning of those words, so it’s not just English-speakers running around in potentially catastrophic clothing. And yet, I bet Japanese buyers would be equally put off by their equivalent of the malvelous pot.
I suppose it’s a case of looking the other way–we’re bothered by an error that is obvious to us, but not by one we’d have to look up in a dictionary. Though, as a signifier of poor quality, a misspelled Italian word is presumably no different from a misspelled English one. Or maybe we’re worried about what our friends will think of our malvelous pot, and don’t think we have enough Italian-speaking friends that we need be concerned about what our shirt says.
What do you think? Do you wear or use products that bear words you don’t understand? Would you be worried about the overall quality of a pot with a misspelled English word on the side?
Also, do you know any Italian incarnations for raising the dead? Because my mom and I really can’t read her shirt, and now I’m starting to wonder.
Current Bedside Reading: Stewart P. Evans, The Ultimate Jack The Ripper Companion
Commentary: I need to go back to Victorian England and knock some heads together. What the hell, Scotland Yard? Again and again, this book presented actual case files that ended with something along these lines: “I checked that he worked where he said he worked and lived where he said he lived, and he does, so I let him go and won’t be looking into him further.” WHAT? Apparently you could kill anyone you liked in Victorian England, as long as you had a fixed address and a job, and the cops wouldn’t suspect you. The Green River Killer must be sorry he was born in the wrong time and place.
My iPod Is Singing: “One hippopotami cannot get on a bus, because one hippopotami is too hippopotamous.”

Aaaaand we’re back. I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays. I could have made good use of another six to eight weeks of them, but that’s not how the cookie crumbled.

The DPCS and I have a game we like to play at Liquidation World. We call it “What Most Belongs Here?” We each search the store, while shopping, for the item that we think most obviously shows how it ended up in a liquidation outlet. Past winners have included Thirsty Dog (pop for dogs) and a picture frame that read “Mom, you’ve guided my life” along the top and “and I treasure them” along the bottom.

Here’s the winning object from our Boxing Day visit to the Saskatoon store. Simply malvelous.

I find this sort of thing interesting because I’m surprised anyone cares if a word on a pot is misspelled. I suspect it’s more upsetting to a potential buyer as a red flag about quality control than as an unsightly error. I don’t think most people care about spelling, do they? They certainly don’t care about punctuation.

Oh, which reminds me. I may have to kill someone over this. The only thing stopping me is that I don’t know for certain whether to blame the agency or the client. I know, you’re probably thinking that murder is unwarranted in this situation, but you don’t understand. There are a few of these posters and billboards in my neighbourhood and I have to look at them. It’s not right. Justice must be done. Though, based on the odd blood-like stain on the poster I’ve photographed, it’s possible justice was already done by someone. To someone. It’s a beautiful day in my neighbourhood.

Please don’t tell me, by the way, that they’re making a pun of wears (as in, the woman in this photo wears Lana Lee) and where’s (as in, where can I get some of those overpriced rejects from the Jaclyn Smith K-Mart collection?). I understand that. What I’m saying is, what’s with the apostrophe? I have my suspicions about that fucker. Here’s how I picture the client meeting at which the billboard concept was unveiled:

Creative Director: So the billboard says “Wears Lana Lee.” Three words. Clean. Direct. Readable. Labeling the attractive yet identifiable model as someone who wears Lana Lee…

Account Exec:.. while opening the all-important question, where can I buy Lana Lee clothing so that I will look like the model?

Creative Director: Then leaving the question unanswered, to create mystery.

Account Exec: And to give your clothing the air of unattainability.

Client: It’s just what I wanted, only with 28 fewer words than I asked for… except, won’t people be confused?

Creative Director: Excuse me?

Client: Well, you won’t be there to explain it to people, so they won’t know that wears also means where’s. I think there should be one of those high up comma things.

Creative Director: ….

Account Exec: In wears, you mean? Between the r and the s? You’d like an apostrophe?

Client: Apostrophe, right. Put an apostrophe there.

Account Exec: Wonderful! That takes it to a new level! *elbow nudge* Would you be interested in coming to work for us?

Creative Director: *sticks pen in eye, is taken to hospital*

Account Exec: Ewww…. that’s the fifth creative director to do that this year. It’s a shame, because we need someone to tell the graphic designer to make that change for you.

Client: I could make the change myself, in Paint.

Account Exec: Tremendous! You’re sure you don’t want to work for us, now? HA HA!

Fortunately, in this scenario, the client is eliminated later that day when he tries to open a billboard-sized art file in Paint and his computer decides instead to grow arms and beat him to death with the keyboard.

Getting back to Liquidation World and misspelled objects, it does seems that people are put off by screwed up words–when those words are in English. When they’re in other languages, they could be misspelled, blue, or part of an incantation that will cause the dead to walk among the living, and we don’t care. I gave my mom a shirt this Christmas that had words on it and the best we could do was identify the language as probably Italian (which differs from the definitely Italian dialect in its number of irregular verbs.)

She’s going to wear it, though, and is not concerned about what she may be saying to Italian-speakers, or whether she’s raising the Italian dead.

The Japanese are notorious for liking the look of foreign words and not caring about the meaning of those words, so it’s not just English-speakers running around in potentially catastrophic clothing. And yet, I bet Japanese buyers would be equally put off by their equivalent of the malvelous pot.

I suppose it’s a case of looking the other way–we’re bothered by an error that is obvious to us, but not by one we’d have to look up in a dictionary. Though, as a signifier of poor quality, a misspelled Italian word is presumably no different from a misspelled English one. Or maybe we’re worried about what our friends will think of our malvelous pot, and don’t think we have enough Italian-speaking friends that we need be concerned about what our shirt says.

What do you think? Do you wear or use products that bear words you don’t understand? Would you be worried about the overall quality of a pot with a misspelled English word on the side?

Also, do you know any Italian incantations for raising the dead? Because my mom and I really can’t read her shirt, and now I’m starting to wonder.

Current Bedside Reading: Stewart P. Evans, The Ultimate Jack The Ripper Companion

Commentary: I need to go back to Victorian England and knock some heads together. What the hell, Scotland Yard? Again and again, this book presented actual case files that ended with something along these lines: “I checked that he worked where he said he worked and lived where he said he lived, and he does, so I let him go and won’t be looking into him further.” WHAT? Apparently you could kill anyone you liked in Victorian England, as long as you had a fixed address and a job, and the cops wouldn’t suspect you. The Green River Killer must be sorry he was born in the wrong time and place.

My iPod Is Singing:“One hippopotami cannot get on a bus, because one hippopotami is too hippopotamus.”

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Jan 11, 2010

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Comments

jay smith (Jan 11, 2010)

you’re funny! came across your blog by accident; do you remember my interviewing you for a piece about queer mystery novels? glad to find you in cyberspace…

Gayleen (Jan 11, 2010)

I remember you fondly–I very much enjoyed that interview, and the article that came out of it. It’s nice to run across you again.

RecoveringSTVStaffer (Jan 11, 2010)

I can tell from looking into your eyes, that you have the legs of a dancer.

No misspelled products in my home, but I did see a t-shirt with filosofer written in crayon, that I liked.

jf (Jan 11, 2010)

Did you buy the pot to put the dog pop in though?

jf (Jan 11, 2010)

mmmmm carbonated gravy…..

Gayleen (Jan 11, 2010)

It was grosser than you are even imagining. We didn’t buy the pot, but we did buy the dog pop (which we saw years ago, and never since.) I can’t say my dog was a fan, either (it was Rai, at time.)

James (Jan 11, 2010)

Personally I find the fact that her waist is about the same size as her head more of a put off but the apostrophe error adds that little dash of salt to the gaping wound. It’s for flavour.

Anne (Jan 11, 2010)

I’m worried about the Cabbage Patch Kids. Do you think they will be confused that these people are not their real parents?

I’m with James–that model should be begging for “nootreeyents plz” and I would sue anyone who intended for me to wear that horrific top. Was it manufactured from some draperies left over from the ’70s? Nasty! If I wore that thing, someone would mistake me for the Partridge Family bus!

Oh, nice to have you back, by the way.

RecoveringSTVStaffer (Jan 12, 2010)

I think the apostrophe error is intentional – to help make it viral. Thus, we have fanned the flames of stupid by discuss it herein.

PS I’m with James and Anne – give that model a sandwich or 5

Gayleen (Jan 12, 2010)

Give me ten minutes to run around some forums and I will find you twenty guys who’ll say, “That bitch is fat.”

DPCS (Jan 12, 2010)

Give me ten minutes and I’ll find you twenty guys who’ll say “That bitch a reptilian cannibal.”

Please.

DPCS (Jan 12, 2010)

Also, I’m what love is all about I’ve got American teeth and a Spanish mouth.

Anne (Jan 12, 2010)

Just to piss you (and me) off, I found the most horrific grammar mistake in the Edmonton Journal this morning. On Page three, in the article on the journalist who died in Afghanistan, a colleague of hers was quoted as saying that the deceased had reached a point in her life where “their were no question marks.”

I can’t figure out if the typo comes from the journalist colleague, or the Edmonton Journal staffer who wrote the article.

Either way, how appalling.

Milé Murtanovski (Jan 15, 2010)

I just wanna know this:

WEAR’s WALDO?

Gayleen (Jan 16, 2010)

Are you trying to provoke me, sir? I know where you live and have an airline credit I have to use before it expires.

Grymm the Pleasant (Jan 17, 2010)

“I just wanna know this:

WEAR’s WALDO?”

No, I believe that it is Martin Hanford’s Waldo. People seem to think that Wear does far too much design work, though I will admit that at least they are questioning Wear’s influence in such endeavors.

(because trying to parse the grammar literally is more fun I find. Though the original wasn’t as good as the provocation, thus holding back on it till now)

RecoveringSTVStaffer (Jan 18, 2010)

Gayleen & DPCS said:

Give me ten minutes to run around some forums and I will find you twenty guys who’ll say, “anydamnthing”

You two stay outta the Forums – remember what the judge said to you both!

James (Jan 19, 2010)

The internets told me that Seal’s last name is Samuel. Just a random factoid for a random day.

Gayleen (Jan 20, 2010)

That was random indeed.

Gayleen (Jan 20, 2010)

Wear needs to get a new job, I think. I’ve seen his work and I am not impressed.

RecoveringSTVStaffer (Jan 21, 2010)

Is Wear’s work worn?

Gayleen (Jan 21, 2010)

It’s not well-worn.

gayleenfroese (Mar 04, 2010)

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